Monday, April 8, 2013

Happy Six Monthiversary To Me!

"Just know you're not alone
'cause I'm gonna make this place your home."

Six months.
Half a year. 
183 days.

It's incredible how that can feel like a huge amount of time, yet also feel like merely a drop in the bucket. 

My life has done a complete 180 in that 183 days. Sure, I knew that moving here would be good for me, but I could never, NEVER anticipate that it would be this good. 

I've changed - emotionally, physically, and spiritually. So many worries and stresses that I held to for so long have crumbled and fallen away. Here, I'm finally beginning to feel like myself...and learning that I really do like myself. In fact, I'm a pretty freaking awesome person. 

When I was back in the States over Easter holiday it was made very clear to me that moving was the right decision. While I love my family and friends, I felt no connection there. It was stifling and uncomfortable. I longed to be back in the sunshine, where I can see the water and waves every day, where we greet strangers with a smile and a good morning, where I can feel like I'm living my life for me. Finally.

Six months ago, I was terrified. I'm a creature of habit and a control freak; I like to know what's coming next. This move has shown me that while I may not have completely relinquished those characteristics, I have greatly diminished them and am learning to enjoy and embrace the unknown. 

183 days ago, I couldn't run a mile straight without stopping. Last week, I ran 2 and could have kept going. Had to pee, oops. I had never donned a scuba tank. Today, I started my rescue diver course and completed my 22nd dive. Looking back at pictures from a year and two years ago the other night made me cry. Physically, I'm a completely different person...and I LOVE it. Finally, I'm learning how to love and honor my body. Although I might have gotten a little too much sun on my dive today. Oopsy poopsy! Eventually I'll learn.

Half a year ago, I thought I'd stay out of the country for two years, maybe five. Last week when I was painfully saying goodbye to my sister at the airport, I hugged her and said, "You know I'm not coming back, right?" She said she did, that she had expected it. 

Countless people who knew me pre-BVI tell me they've never seen me happier. It sounds silly to some, I'm sure, but I am constantly crowing about how happy and healthy and settled I am here. For once, it all just feels right

Do I still struggle? Hell yes. The past few weeks have been rough, I won't lie. Between a few situational stressors (boy problems, body issues, anxiety about going back to the States, blah blah) and just a general depression downswing there have been a lot of tears and self-doubt. But! I'm bouncing back out of it much faster and with more confidence then I would have six months ago. Life here isn't perfect; we do have shitty weather now and again, we have bills to pay, we have responsibilities. Moving here didn't mean giving up on being a grown up. It meant disconnecting from all the assumptions and parameters I felt had been placed on me and living a life that I built, that I wanted, for which I'm entirely responsible. 

People tell me I'm lucky. Yes, luck had a bit to do with me coming to Tortola. But you know what was really responsible? Me. Hard work. Perserverence. Faith. Support and encouragement. And, a healthy dose of insanity. 

So, Happy Six Months to me. Happy Half A Year of a brand new life. Happy 183 Days of new opportunities. Here's to many, many more.


  1. Hello,
    I visited your blog.
    Congratulations for your work!! An interesting and nice blog!!
    Good luck with your blog!
    Greetings from Algarve, Portugal
    Paulo Gonçalves

    I invite you to visit my blog

  2. Hello I'am Chris From France!!
    This is not a "spam"
    You Have A Wonderful Blog Which I Consider To Be Registered In International Blog Dictionary. You Will Represent Your Country
    Please Visit The Following Link And Comment Your Blog Name
    Blog Url
    Location Of Your Country Operating In Comment Session Which Will Be Added In Your Country List
    On the right side, in the "green list", you will find all the countries and if you click them, you will find the names of blogs from that Country.
    Happy Blogging

  3. It sounds as though you've never been happier, and are living a awesome and amazing life. Congratulations and best of luck on this beautiful journey.