tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6658371438026143602023-11-16T12:50:49.108-04:00Tacoma to TortolaMy journey to becoming an expat...one bottle of massage oil at a time.Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-63891275661300527722013-10-30T23:01:00.000-04:002013-10-30T23:01:23.389-04:00Puppy LoveFirst off, October 8th was my ONE YEAR anniversary of moving here! Wha-what?!? Crazy, I know it. Hard to believe it's already been a year. Ups and downs, goods and bads...I love this goofy island. Fo sho. It's been one of the best years of my life. It's been the start of a completely <i>new</i> life. One year in I can say that I feel very comfortable and settled here on Tortola. Do I still have bad days and rough patches? Oh hell yeah. But, overall, I'm happy and healthy and still 100% certain I made the right decision in moving here.<br />
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In the past few months I also moved to Cane Garden Bay, in a neighborhood with my dearest friends and some of my favorite people who I met when I first came on island. It was perfect timing that this apartment became available, and the absolute perfect location. Being in Cane also means I'm right up the hill from a beautiful beach, lots of social options, a gas station, and a little grocery store. OH! There's also this crazy little bar/store called Columbus that has almost ANYTHING you could possibly think to need. It's a game I play when I go in now. Need a washer for your kitchen sink? They've got it. A miniature souvenir guitar. Yup. Champagne/spirits/wine? Of course. Batteries. A strainer. Cheese. Electric fly swatters. Pringles. Room deodorizers. Whatever. All crammed in this teeny tiny shop. The guy behind the counter is a sweetheart and laughs at me every time I come in and try to stump him with something. But I digress. Being here in Cane is good for my social life and for my soul. I loved Pockwood Pond and I LOVED my awesome roommate there, but the baby bird had to spread her wings and get her rear closer to the beach.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">View from my porch in Cane Garden Bay!</td></tr>
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The other benefit to moving to The Commune is that it is pet friendly. I've been wanting to take the plunge and adopt an island pet for awhile, but didn't have the option at my old place. Once I moved here to Cane I started looking around and putting out the feelers and sure enough, a darling little dog sort of dropped into my lap.<br />
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She was a rescue over on Virgin Gorda being fostered by a really amazing woman who does a lot of rescue work there. With two dogs and a few cats of her own she knew she couldn't keep this one, but she wanted to make sure she went to a good and loving home. The pup was found abandoned on the side of the road, starving and skinny and scared but otherwise healthy. The vet guessed that she was between 4-5 months old nearly a month ago. Jane took her in and took amazing care of her. A friend posted a picture of the dog on a Facebook board for animals here in the BVI, and a friend/guest of mine (who made it her personal mission to find the perfect dog for me) linked me to the post.<br />
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She was younger and a bit bigger than I was really looking for but her faaaaaace was so sweet. I called Jane and chatted with her about the dog a bit, then agreed to come over to VG the next day to meet her. Well, the second I walked off the ferry and saw her standing there I fell in love and knew she was going to be my little buddy. The pup sat in my lap as we drove to Jane's place and I absolutely melted. By the end of the visit I knew that I wanted to adopt her, and Jane agreed to bring her over to me the following week.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That face! I was a goner from the first meeting.</td></tr>
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The ladies on VG had been calling the dog Roxy, but Jane said that she didn't know it yet and they weren't really pushing it on her as she'd probably be renamed when adopted. Sure enough, Roxy was just not going to cut it for me. Instead, I chose to name her after my beloved Caribbean grapefruit pop - Ting.<br />
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Ting and I have been together for a few weeks now and while it's a ton of work and she can be a complete pain in my ass, I adore her. I've so missed having the companionship of a pet, especially as I've been living alone the past few months. Ting is always happy to see me, she's silly and fun and frustrating, she's smart (at times too smart) and is coming along in her training, and she's a great snuggler. She does have pretty bad separation anxiety - wouldn't you if you were thrown on the side of the road and abandoned? - but we're working on it.<br />
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Luckily my freighbors (friend/neighbors) are amazing and helpful and extremely patient with us. I'd be lost without them, really. My next door neighbor is an absolute saint of a woman who comes to "rescue" Ting as often as she can. Ting has fallen in love with their dog and looks for her every time we walk past their stairs. It's super cute. Oh, but how did Ting repay their kindness last week? She pooped on their bed. ON THEIR BED. I was mortified when I received the text from the freighbor saying "Oh S is mad. Ting shat the bed!" Again, I'm lucky that they are kind and forgiving. Ting and I still left a six pack of Guiness and a bottle of wine on their porch, along with an apology note. Baaaaad dog.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On the beach at Long Bay. Sand errywurr.</td></tr>
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Almost every night we take a big long walk along the beach in Cane, which is good for the both of us. She loves the water and walks/runs right in the surf. If I can haul my rear out of bed in time in the morning then we head down as well. That's one I need to work on! We went out to Long Bay this weekend to explore the beach and say hi to my buddy that works out there. She and I both left the beach very wet and very sandy. I think this weekend we'll head down to Brewers and see what she thinks!<br />
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Adopting Ting brings back the pain of having to say goodbye to Scully, but I just have to keep telling myself that it was for the best. Scully has a wonderful family that loves her dearly, and moving her down here would not have been the best. Plus, I know that I've given one of the many unloved and abandoned animals here in the BVI a very, very loving home. We're still getting to know each other and she has a long way to go before she really has manners, but she's still a baby and I have nothing but love for her. She fills my home, and my heart, with joy. Even when I'm mopping up her pee. The best is when I wake up in the middle of the night and she's cuddled right against me. Sigh. I'm such a sucker.<br />
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So that's the biggest news in my life right now! Chorale has started back up and we're working on our set for the big winter concert. I auditioned for, and made it into, the jazz choir as well. Two nights of rehearsal a week? Why not. Singing makes me happy and the people are fun. The season is ramping back up and the island is coming alive again. I completed my 40th dive (and 3rd night dive!) a few weeks ago when my awesome Boston friends were here, so I can start my divemaster as soon as I get the money and the balls to do it. My dating life is still ridiculous. Would we expect anything less? But, the sun is shining and life is all good. Besides...now I have a darling little dog to come home to!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sigh. Love.</td></tr>
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<br />Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-49471750411701591322013-08-23T00:06:00.000-04:002013-08-23T00:06:09.031-04:00We're All Just Trying To Get By<br />
It's been a bit more than a week now that I've been back on island after 3 weeks in the States on vacation. My time back on US soil was amazing; I saw my best friend (after 10 years of not seeing each other!) get married to his absolute perfect match, then I watched my little sister marry the man of her dreams. It was a fun, albeit emotional, couple of weeks. Every minute was special, but jeez I was ready to be back on my quiet, easy going island.<br />
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Before I left I had to say goodbye to a few more important people. This isht is getting old and I haven't even been here a year. Of course, in true SNP fashion, I have had my heart broken yet again...but would we expect anything else at this point? It's nearly comical. If it were happening to someone ELSE I'd laugh even more. I'm a bit tired of being the butt of that joke, though.<br />
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The hard part has been that I've been in a bit of a funk since I returned. Yes, you can still be down and live in the Caribbean. I suppose some of it can be chalked up to post-holiday blues, although honestly I was ready to get back to work and back into a routine. Part was missing the family and friends I'd just spent 3 weeks with, naturally. But a big part is that I'm just...lonely? Yeah, lonely. Not alone, but lonely. I'm surrounded with friends and great people, but it just gets old coming home to a metaphorically empty house day after day, year after year. The other day I came home and wanted nothing more than a hug. Some sort of touch, some human interaction that I wasn't being paid for. Cuddling on the couch. Something. Instead, I went for a lame ass run (it's been awhile, I'm off my game) and had a glass or two of wine. It didn't quite fulfill the need, but it at least deadened some of the feelings.<br />
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People who know me very well know that I have a hard time reaching out and asking for help. It's something I've worked on over the past few years. Being here on my own is forcing me to work some of these "episodes" out by myself, but it isn't easy. Then again, who said being an adult would be easy? Can't I just go back to blanket forts and red rover and dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets (which my mother NEVER fed us, btw) and giving a note to your crush that said "check yes or no if you like me"?<br />
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Youth is wasted on the damn young.<br />
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BUT! Tomorrow is another beautiful day in the Caribbean and I have much for which to be grateful. This too shall pass. Chin up, buttercup. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Blah blah blah.<br />
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I think I need a dive. And a hug.<br />
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<br />Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-41004005125291816282013-04-08T21:25:00.000-04:002013-04-08T21:27:18.330-04:00Happy Six Monthiversary To Me!<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Just know you're not alone</i></div>
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<i>'cause I'm gonna make this place your home."</i></div>
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Six months.</div>
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Half a year. </div>
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183 days.</div>
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It's incredible how that can feel like a huge amount of time, yet also feel like merely a drop in the bucket. </div>
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My life has done a complete 180 in that 183 days. Sure, I knew that moving here would be good for me, but I could never, NEVER anticipate that it would be <i>this</i> good. </div>
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I've changed - emotionally, physically, and spiritually. So many worries and stresses that I held to for so long have crumbled and fallen away. Here, I'm finally beginning to feel like myself...and learning that I really do like myself. In fact, I'm a pretty freaking awesome person. </div>
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When I was back in the States over Easter holiday it was made very clear to me that moving was the right decision. While I love my family and friends, I felt no connection there. It was stifling and uncomfortable. I longed to be back in the sunshine, where I can see the water and waves every day, where we greet strangers with a smile and a good morning, where I can feel like I'm living my life for <b>me</b>. Finally.</div>
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Six months ago, I was terrified. I'm a creature of habit and a control freak; I like to know what's coming next. This move has shown me that while I may not have completely relinquished those characteristics, I have greatly diminished them and am learning to enjoy and embrace the unknown. </div>
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183 days ago, I couldn't run a mile straight without stopping. Last week, I ran 2 and could have kept going. Had to pee, oops. I had never donned a scuba tank. Today, I started my rescue diver course and completed my 22nd dive. Looking back at pictures from a year and two years ago the other night made me cry. Physically, I'm a completely different person...and I LOVE it. Finally, I'm learning how to love and honor my body. Although I might have gotten a little too much sun on my dive today. Oopsy poopsy! Eventually I'll learn.</div>
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Half a year ago, I thought I'd stay out of the country for two years, maybe five. Last week when I was painfully saying goodbye to my sister at the airport, I hugged her and said, "You know I'm not coming back, right?" She said she did, that she had expected it. </div>
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Countless people who knew me pre-BVI tell me they've never seen me happier. It sounds silly to some, I'm sure, but I am constantly crowing about how happy and healthy and settled I am here. For once, it all just feels <i>right</i>. </div>
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Do I still struggle? Hell yes. The past few weeks have been rough, I won't lie. Between a few situational stressors (boy problems, body issues, anxiety about going back to the States, blah blah) and just a general depression downswing there have been a lot of tears and self-doubt. But! I'm bouncing back out of it much faster and with more confidence then I would have six months ago. Life here isn't perfect; we do have shitty weather now and again, we have bills to pay, we have responsibilities. Moving here didn't mean giving up on being a grown up. It meant disconnecting from all the assumptions and parameters I felt had been placed on me and living a life that I built, that I wanted, for which I'm entirely responsible. </div>
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People tell me I'm lucky. Yes, luck had a bit to do with me coming to Tortola. But you know what was really responsible? Me. Hard work. Perserverence. Faith. Support and encouragement. And, a healthy dose of insanity. </div>
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So, Happy Six Months to me. Happy Half A Year of a brand new life. Happy 183 Days of new opportunities. Here's to many, many more.</div>
Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-90816765153653156592013-03-30T11:22:00.000-04:002013-03-30T11:22:40.949-04:00I Get By With A Little Help From My FriendsAfter a ferry ride, a taxi ride, and two lengthy flights that left my bum quite sore, I successfully made it back to SeaTac last night...and we arrived almost an hour ahead of schedule! Minus the little sh*t that was kicking my seat and being completely obnoxious during the flight from St. Thomas to JFK <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Leavin' on a jet plane.</td></tr>
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(normally I'm very understanding about kiddos on flights. However, this kid was old enough to know better AND his parents were doing nothing about his poor behaviour. I had to give him the stink eye and the Stern Adult Voice a few times. Darn whippersnappers.) my flights were easy peasy. Also, I was drugged. That might have helped. Through it all I was operating on about 2 hours of sleep and very frazzled nerves, but once I saw my sister waiting for me at baggage claim I knew that everything was going to be alright. Yes, I cried. I'm super emotional right now, ok?!<br />
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I'm currently bundled up on my parent's couch and watching a glorious sunrise, as my body thinks it is 3 hours earlier than it is here in Spanaway. In the nearly 6 months I've been on Tortola I have definitely become an island girl. I was shivering and my teeth were chattering when I stepped off the plane last night, and I slept in a tshirt, hooded sweatshirt, yoga pants, and thick pink fuzzy socks (borrowed from Mom) under 2 comforters. IT'S EFFING COLD, GUYS. Holy moly.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO7TBmmXh1tOTJSYVnWY8NExSqt3vmvSzUxn9tm0nnv94rVA6mKxA1co6C1e2rVdYx_OI8fmVoSt2ViP4rvG-EnHft3W8IUi6DlReW8KlJDPhsC4M-My5XdNQCIp9acNnzSIwAft5Z-xQ/s1600/IMG_0391.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO7TBmmXh1tOTJSYVnWY8NExSqt3vmvSzUxn9tm0nnv94rVA6mKxA1co6C1e2rVdYx_OI8fmVoSt2ViP4rvG-EnHft3W8IUi6DlReW8KlJDPhsC4M-My5XdNQCIp9acNnzSIwAft5Z-xQ/s200/IMG_0391.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I get lots of compliments on my button.</td></tr>
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The past two weeks have been rough. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. For a variety of reasons. This trip off the rock could not have come at a better time. In no way am I unhappy being in Tortola. If anything, living there is what is helping me to keep my sanity. I'm just...dealing with some crap on a few different levels and I needed a break to recharge a bit. I'm so lucky to have such supportive friends who will lift me up and help to remind me of what a flipping awesome person I am, even when I don't <br />
feel one iota of awesomeness. I love that I can send out a text late on a Thursday night when I've had my heart broken and get instant rallying of the troops. Or that my boss can just look at me and know I'm not alright, and insist on doing work on me (that was so, SO incredibly helpful!). Or that when one of my dearest girlfriends asks me how my day was I can honestly respond with, "Well, I came home from work, got in the shower and cried, then got straight in bed and cried for two hours until I passed out," without fear of judgement. Or that my guy friends constantly remind me how great I am and how I deserve nothing but the best. Between my friends and being with my family this weekend, I think I'll arrive back home on Tortola feeling about 1000 times better. At least I hope. I'm putting on my big girl panties, squaring my shoulders, and not letting anyone or anything piss in my Cheerios.<br />
<br />
Today's agenda, once my sister wakes up, is to hit the mall (OMG THE MALL!) so I can begin my massive shopping spree and then we have an appointment to pick up my sister's wedding dress this afternoon!<br />
<br />Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-51394736468016449682013-03-22T00:13:00.000-04:002013-03-22T00:13:20.379-04:00It's A Party In The USA!I'm heading back to the States on Good Friday for my first trip back since moving here nearly 6 months ago. It will be a very short trip, as I get in late Friday night and leave again on a red-eye the following Tuesday night, but it's necessary for little sister's wedding prep and planning and I get to celebrate Easter with the fam. Not to mention, I need to get off the rock for a few days and recharge!<br />
<b><br /></b><b>Things I Am Looking Forward To When I Go Back To The States Over Easter</b><br />
<ul>
<li>My family.</li>
<li>SISTER TIME. Holy Jesus, I miss her so much.</li>
<li>Easter! It's my favorite. Hopefully going to my home church, dying eggs, celebrating the Resurrection and what it means to me...I love it!</li>
<li>Beester. Kids have eggs hidden for Easter, adults have beer hidden for Beester. That's how we roll.</li>
<li>Costco. Tampons, deodorant, razor blades, contact solution, bandages, a giant tub of ketchup if I want it! </li>
<li>TARGET. I just want to wander through the aisles because I can.</li>
<li>Trader Joe's. Need to stock up on more of their shave cream. It's my faaaaavorite and I'm almost through the last of my supply. </li>
<li>Starbucks iced soy chai. </li>
<li>Clothes shopping. Honest to God, I have not a single bra that fits properly (and finding one on island has proven to be a challenge), my underwear are all falling off my ass, my jeans are too big, my tops are getting too big, everything is getting worn down, my bathing suits are falling apart or are too big...sense a theme? I need more shorts and tops, I need more dresses, I need more of my goofy toe Injinji running socks. Now that I've been here awhile I have a better idea of what my wardrobe should look like. I'm planning a MAJOR shopping spree while I have multiple venues to choose from!</li>
<li>Snuggling all the pets. I miss having one terribly. :(</li>
<li>Seeing Jenni.</li>
<li>Seeing Jenni and having breakfast at the Sunbreak Cafe with her, where I will indulge in the best banana bread on the planet. My mouth waters just thinking about it. Mmm.</li>
<li>Stopping by my old spa, seeing my girls, and stocking up on fantastic product. I'm such a girl.</li>
<li>Picking up my sister's wedding dress with her. Oh, there will be more tears shed.</li>
<li>Trying on the bridesmaids dress that I ordered. </li>
<li>Wedding planning in general!</li>
<li>My mom's cooking. Hoo boy. Pot roast, meatloaf, Ma's deviled eggs, aebleskiver, whatever feast we're going to have at Easter. All of it. She and my sister are amazing. My talents lie in other arenas.</li>
<li>Dick's burgers (yes, it's a legit place in Seattle. Get your mind out of the gutter)!</li>
<li>Being able to be outside without being eaten alive by mozzies. This is said as I'm sitting in the Most Comfortable Lounge Chair EVER on my patio, smacking myself like a meth head. </li>
<li>Mount Rainier.</li>
<li>Legendary Donuts. Bill Cosby! Auburn/Tacoma peeps, you know what I mean. </li>
<li>Self service gas stations.</li>
<li>Having a week to rest my hands.</li>
<li>Showing off my island tan and my changing island body. </li>
<li>4 days of completely hectic insanity with the most important people in my life. </li>
</ul>
<div>
<b>Things I Am NOT Looking Forward To When I Go Back To The States Over Easter:</b></div>
<ul>
<li>The airport pat-down and rigamarole. </li>
<li>Freeways.</li>
<li>Multilane traffic.</li>
<li>Driving on the right again. My poor confused brain!</li>
<li>Not having Ed, our beloved cat who passed at New Year's Eve, to snuggle. :(</li>
<li>Gray, cold, drizzly, miserable, depressing, awful rain. You can tell how I really feel about Washington weather. </li>
<li>Billboards and aggressive marketing all up in my face all the time.</li>
<li>American media. I'm really only subjected to it here when I'm in line at the bank. </li>
<li>Having to wear shoes. It's been nearly 6 months, but my sister will murder me if I try to wear my flip-flops the whole time I'm there.</li>
<li>Speaking of...I don't even HAVE a pair of proper Seattle-appropriate shoes to wear! Crap...</li>
<li>Having to wear sweaters and coats. </li>
<li>Being cold. </li>
<li>Potentially gaining like 10lbs due to the outrageous food consumption. I'm going to have to be careful and get my ass on the treadmill or hit the pavement as much as possible. </li>
<li>Overstimulation. My life here is much more laid back, and I like that. </li>
<li>Having to switch back out of "island time". </li>
<li>Time zone changes and how zonked I'm going to be because of them.</li>
<li>Bra shopping. As much as I NEED them, I'd rather have a root canal sans anesthetic than bra shop. Fo sho.</li>
<li>Missing the important people in my life here on the island.</li>
<li>Not having enough time to see all the people I want to see. </li>
<li>Saying goodbye when it's time to head back to Tortola. </li>
</ul>
<div>
Just one more week! </div>
Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-13974734723712556602013-03-01T08:29:00.002-04:002013-03-01T08:29:57.402-04:00Happy Friday from sunny Tortola!A little inspiration to start the weekend off right. Oh, except that I work on Saturdays. :) Well, TGIF for the rest of you!<br />
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<br />Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-89930819282973595572013-02-27T09:10:00.000-04:002013-02-27T09:10:06.337-04:00Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be AlrightI am feeling MUCH better this morning following:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>A chat with my bosom buddy Yvonne</li>
<li>A pep talk from my roommate</li>
<li>A sweet, if not juvenile, romantic comedy (Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist)</li>
<li>A good amount of tears</li>
<li>A half a bottle of riesling </li>
</ul>
<div>
The glass truly is half full and I can not lose sight of that. Also, I knew moving here that I would meet transitional characters. That does not mean, however, that great things can't happen. Look at my friendship with Yvonne! She was just down here on holiday, and now I consider her one of my closest friends. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz7OsOOPATCYjlv9fzBTJlU1KQPl2r3GYlelDNvGOx1kJZiIKvi6rQ2EwQw5ZvY90_7ZSyKuUQV_-sH4DJAlAwCzxMLcS0FVp0VAFkuPtk5ipKxhGb-3Ppo6l_AGYyd98vnD9isiuswHE/s1600/IMG_0223.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiz7OsOOPATCYjlv9fzBTJlU1KQPl2r3GYlelDNvGOx1kJZiIKvi6rQ2EwQw5ZvY90_7ZSyKuUQV_-sH4DJAlAwCzxMLcS0FVp0VAFkuPtk5ipKxhGb-3Ppo6l_AGYyd98vnD9isiuswHE/s320/IMG_0223.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Yvonne, New Year's Eve. Awww yeeeahhh.</td></tr>
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As my mama said to me last night, "It's ok to have an open heart." Boy, if that doesn't describe me to a T I don't know what does. So, I'm just going to keep on keepin' on and see what the future holds, and be grateful for the people that this island brings into my life - whether it be for good or just for a little while. </div>
Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-50817218788919400812013-02-26T15:01:00.001-04:002013-02-26T15:01:06.545-04:00Oops I Did It AgainI have *got* to stop falling for people who don't live here, either romantically or as friends. You'd think I'd learn my lesson. Apparently not!<br />
<br />
My heart is a bit sad today. Gotta put on my big girl panties and deal. Maybe some day I will be more than just a temporary piece in someone's life, but today isn't that day. S'all good. Make the best of the time you do have, right?<br />
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It might be a wine drinkin' kind of night out in Pockwood Pond. Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-64422769265823901912013-01-09T10:04:00.000-04:002013-01-24T07:18:27.615-04:00Three Months! What?!Yesterday marked three months since I started this new chapter of my life here on Tortola. CRAZY, right? In some ways it feels like I arrived yesterday. Yet in others, I feel as though I've been here much, much longer.<br />
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<br /></div>
<div>
I'm quite settled here. When I'm working, I work very hard. When I'm NOT working, I'm actually enjoying my off time. Every day I become a little more familiar with the island and it's ways. Everyday I wake up happy. What an amazing feeling!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The most monumental discovery is that the States no longer feels like "home". Last week I was Facebook chatting with one of my dearest friends back in Washington and she asked if I missed anything about home. I explained that I miss my family, I miss my friends, I miss some of the conveniences that living in the States affords...but that's not my home anymore. Never have I felt more comfortable and at home then I do here on Tortola. Will this remain my permanent home? I have no idea. Maybe, maybe not. I do know that I have little desire to return to the US. There is no urge to go home; I AM home.</div>
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<div>
Some reflections on my first three months (and first holidays) here on island:</div>
<div>
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<ul>
<li>Bugs are still eating me. UGH. It's <i>better</i>, but I'm still being feasted upon. I am being more diligent about applying protection (Avon Skin So Soft!) and have started taking a B vitamin complex again. Damn bugs.</li>
</ul>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kyrie, dive instructor extraordinaire!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul>
<li>I'm an open water certified scuba diver! My buddies at <a href="http://www.bluewaterdiversbvi.com/" target="_blank">Blue Water Divers</a> have been amazing teachers and I have completely fallen in love with diving. Kyrie and Rupert convinced me to go on with my advanced certification, which I've started. I'll finish that up in a month or so, then just fun dive for experience for a few months before I go on to rescue diver. Again, add this to the list of things I never thought I'd be doing.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Next up - surfing and sailing!</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I broke the cardinal rule of living in a holiday destination; I fell for someone who doesn't live here. Met this great man (on the dive boat. YAY DIVING!), had an incredible week together, and then he flew back home. Womp woooomp. :( Story of my daaaaaaaamn life, I tell ya. Who knows what will happen though, right? Or maybe I should start adopting my 50 cats...</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>The plus side was that I was able to play tour guide to someone who'd never been here! I was pretty proud of myself that I could give a "local" experience to him and that he got to see the island in ways he'd not have on his own. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Christmas was AMAZING. On Christmas Eve I worked, then had dinner with my coworker Courtney and our friend Jim up at Bananakeet (btw, delicious calamari). We followed that up by heading down to Carrot Bay and celebrating with the locals there at a roadside bar. They were playing music and we danced in the street and drank guavaberry wine. I loved every second of it. Afterward I sat in my car and did a Google Hangout with the family back in WA, where my sister proudly flaunted her aebelskiver in my face, then drove down to Cane Garden Bay to walk on the beach and get my feet wet and have some quiet talk-to-God time there. </li>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjirC2DN75Jg8mgv-EIDgLBSi645Tjo459N-sN1GDr1w9o-KFFVVn3PYuR5PvW-ZkpfNAeIvAeopIknU2L9xYYlG05nfY1MXxshOLIXX9jNH3zd5Kx41URoYbg2Oa30g5A37AYt74DsrK8/s1600/100_2139.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjirC2DN75Jg8mgv-EIDgLBSi645Tjo459N-sN1GDr1w9o-KFFVVn3PYuR5PvW-ZkpfNAeIvAeopIknU2L9xYYlG05nfY1MXxshOLIXX9jNH3zd5Kx41URoYbg2Oa30g5A37AYt74DsrK8/s200/100_2139.JPG" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Christmas Day on Marina Cay</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul>
<li>Christmas Day I went out to Marina Cay to spend the afternoon with my roommate Rob as he was stuck out there for work. It was a lovely day and very low-key. That evening I went out to CGB to my friend Charles' house for a delicious and festive dinner with some of my very favorite people here on the island. On my way home, I again stopped at the beach in Cane. Standing there in the dark, looking up at the stars, feeling the waves crash against my legs...I knew there was no place I'd rather be.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Boxing Day (the day after Christmas, for my US friends) I nursed a hangover and then promptly drank again with my friends after finding out some upsetting news. That's what friends do; they get you drunk at a beach bar when you find out your exhusband is engaged to a woman he's known 3 months and you feel like a complete loser. And when they are not in the same time zone, they text you repeatedly to check on you and remind you how much better your life is without that dude. Thank God for them!</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I made fast friends with an amazing woman...who doesn't live here. GOOD JOB, STEPH. But! She comes down frequently and we are pretty much connected at the hip now. We had so much fun together. I miss her already. Sad face. Is it March yet?</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Who saw Shaggy in concert? This girl! </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Who went to Jost Van Dyke to celebrate New Year's at Foxy's with 8 bajillion others at one of the biggest NYE parties in the world AND kissed a handsome Aussie at our own made up midnight since we missed the countdown? This girl! </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Finally bought a bathroom scale the other day, and even after the debauchery of the holidays - and let me tell you, there was some serious debauchery - I'm officially down 23 lbs since I moved here! I've been off my workouts the past 2-3 weeks (gah, holidays) and now the gym is full of Resolutioners so I'm sticking to workouts outside of the gym until February or so. I tell ya, this island has been good to me in *so* many ways. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I weathered my first family drama from 4000 miles apart when we lost our beloved cat Ed on New Year's Eve. She was 18 and the greatest cat you could ever ask for. I did get to see her over the intertubes and say goodbye, but I did, and still do, feel the guilt of not physically being there for her and the family. I'm trying not to let it eat me up. This was my choice and I knew that being so far away would mean missing things. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I'm joining a choir in a few weeks. The community college has a community chorale that is quite good, and I'm looking forward to singing again and meeting more people. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I feel like I've lived more in the last 3 months than I have in the last 3 years. I'm doing new things! And meeting new people! And having a blast! Wooooo!</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>I'm getting more brave when it comes to killing spiders. This is big news, my friends.</li>
</ul>
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2013, I am welcoming you with wide open arms. I can't wait to see what this year brings! If my first three months were this jam packed with fun and new adventures I can't imagine what the next twelve will be like. </div>
</div>
Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-63963682195172236512012-12-08T23:33:00.000-04:002012-12-08T23:33:15.717-04:00Two Years Ago Today, Part 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAT54alMX-KNxA4K3W6wXVYX0q9lqbZEWGrCNOt8sOQhIQyHMZsHAB24fY3-_nrhAyIAVKSp3bQhAih8dcycztmrgos2S5C_CTx2c7eC6vRFoqCGKsQTaG0ilhGIGcn_6V3BBJr_KVMu8/s1600/29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAT54alMX-KNxA4K3W6wXVYX0q9lqbZEWGrCNOt8sOQhIQyHMZsHAB24fY3-_nrhAyIAVKSp3bQhAih8dcycztmrgos2S5C_CTx2c7eC6vRFoqCGKsQTaG0ilhGIGcn_6V3BBJr_KVMu8/s320/29.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>The leader of the band is tired</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>and his eyes are growing old, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>but his blood runs through my instrument</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>and his song is in my soul.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>My life has been a poor attempt</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>to imitate the man.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I'm just a living legacy</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>to the leader of the band.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>- D.F.</i></div>
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Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-48494867017463497052012-11-26T22:22:00.002-04:002012-11-26T23:16:55.531-04:00Two Years Ago Today, Part 2Two years ago today I was startled awake early on Black Friday morning after sleeping off the Thanksgiving feast by a phone call I had been dreading for years.<br />
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My sister-in-law had just had a phone call from the paramedics. Dad was en route to St. Joe's. He had called 911 just a short time before, saying he was short of breath and not well. By the time the EMTs reached him he was unresponsive and had been oxygen deprived for much too long. He was alive, but just barely. They found Dad's phone and called one of the last numbers in it, reaching my brother and sister-in-law.</div>
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<div>
We had just had one of the nicest holidays I could remember. After my little "incident" two weeks prior, things were actually looking up. The entire family was at Thanksgiving; Mom and Ray, my brother and his family, our dear friend Eric, Kate and her new boyfriend Mike, and Dad. It was happy. It was fun. An early snow had threatened the day but everyone trudged out despite the snow and ice. Dad commented how nice it was that we were all together and spending the day with each other. He told me how much he liked Mike, and how Kate seemed to be really happy with him. The dogs ran around and played with everyone. It really was a perfect day. If I had known that was the last time I'd see my Dad awake and alert, the last time I'd talk with him or hug him...</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmpSpghntgnk5yhMnkFJQcjaRBoFhiC3UeIuRiEx2XmkEGxEpZQEsnvru_splOYkYTLa_vmoUQY_PiuIOCFiOkk1UY0x9MDM7fqMesCo9G5uHm7yFQJeK7fvkr7wWqnkdndkoe9j3Hy9I/s1600/025.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmpSpghntgnk5yhMnkFJQcjaRBoFhiC3UeIuRiEx2XmkEGxEpZQEsnvru_splOYkYTLa_vmoUQY_PiuIOCFiOkk1UY0x9MDM7fqMesCo9G5uHm7yFQJeK7fvkr7wWqnkdndkoe9j3Hy9I/s320/025.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I got the curls from Dad. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
The next time I saw Dad, on that Black Friday morning, he was strapped to a gurney and having his core temperature dropped in an attempt to save his brain. They were inducing a coma and he may or may not wake up...but it was the only real hope we had at saving him. At first I really thought that everything would end up fine; Dad would wake up in a day or so, we'd chastise him for not taking better care of himself, and we'd take him home. The man was only 57. I was only 28. That's entirely too young to lose your dad, right? He still needed to see his grandsons grow up. He needed to see Kate get married and have babies. He needed to see me do something worthwhile with my life, to make him proud. As we sat there in the ER listening to the doctors give us a very grim prognosis, I couldn't help but feel that my issues in the 2 weeks prior had contributed to Dad's heart attack. I'd stressed him out too much, I'd added to his already overtaxed system. I know he wouldn't want me to think that, but that's something I'll always live with. </div>
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The weekend before Thanksgiving Dad came over to my and Kate's house to have dinner with me. Those that know our family well will not be surprised that we had nachos (which were awesome, by the way. He taught me well.). We laughed and talked about celebrity gossip (Dad was always well versed in it) and I played some music for him that I thought he'd get a kick out of. I also sat down and helped program the new cell phone my brother and sister-in-law had purchased for him. Sometimes I got so frustrated with Dad's lack of technological know-how, but I showed him how to use the basics and programmed important numbers in. We talked about my car and he asked if I needed any parts. He said he'd bring the needed wipers and air filter to Thanksgiving. Later, after Dad had passed and we were cleaning out his car, I found the bag with the parts that he meant to give to me. He always thought of us and made sure we were taken care of. </div>
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I'm so grateful that we had that Thanksgiving together. I thank God all the time that he gave Dad that one last holiday with everyone. I'm grateful too that my dad loved me enough to come see me when I was in the recovery center, and that he called me everyday for the two weeks after to check up on me, and how he actually talked about my situation instead of around it, like so many other people were doing. At one point he said, "Steddie, just promise me you'll talk to me if you ever feel that way again." I promised him I would. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But two years ago, we lost him. He was there physically in that hospital bed, but Dad was gone. At first there was the glimmer of hope that we'd get him back but as those 12 days in the ICU wore on we began to face the facts. </div>
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I'd like to think that Dad could hear us when we were in the hospital with him. We talked to him, and laughed, and told jokes, and cried - shit, we cried - and played his favorite music, and we prayed. I hope he heard when we told him how we loved him. But if some of his last cognitive thoughts are from that Thanksgiving, then I'm ok with that. The part that eats me up is thinking about how scared he must have been calling 911 that morning, and how he was alone. There were times when I was alone with Dad in the hospital in the week and a half following that I told him I'd do anything to take his place. How I wished it was me in that bed instead of him. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
My dad was the sweetest, kindest man. He was a friend to everyone and rarely had a bad word to say about anyone. He was funny and goofy and he never made me question his love for me. All he wanted in life was to see us kids happy. He had been dealt too many painful blows over the previous 10 years or so, including losing his own Dad only the week before. It was so fucking unfair. </div>
<div>
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<div>
Time has a way of flying by. It blows my mind that it's been two years since I last talked to my dad. I'm starting to forget what his voice sounds like, and that scares the shit out of me. The last two voicemails he sent me are saved on my computer and I play them periodically just so that I'll remember his voice. I keep his glasses in my glasses case. The blanket on my bed is the one my old boss made for him when he started dialysis. I'm clinging to some small hope that by having these pieces of him here with me, <i>he</i> is here with me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Dad would be so proud of all of us. How smart and clever his grandsons are. Kate's wonderful job and her upcoming wedding to the man of her dreams...who Dad only got to meet that one time. Eric's success in his career. And his middle child, his sensitive child...she put her life back together and is happier and healthier than ever, living 4000 miles away and making the most of this precious life. </div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
Two years ago today, I lost a piece of my heart that I'll never get back. Dad, I hope you're rocking out in heaven. We miss you more than words could ever say.</div>
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Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-51548732002172268152012-11-22T22:44:00.000-04:002012-11-22T22:44:16.885-04:00What I'm Thankful For<br />
<ul>
<li>My family, and their health. </li>
<li>My health! I'm in the best shape of my adult life and only getting better every day, and I feel amazing. Such a change.</li>
<li>The 28 Thanksgivings I had with Dad. These last two have been hard but I'm grateful for the ones I had.</li>
<li>Massage school; it changed my life in a direction I could have never anticipated.</li>
<li>Indoor plumbing. For reals.</li>
<li>Wine.</li>
<li>Ting. And vodka. And the two of them put together.</li>
<li>My amazing spa team back at Solei. I miss my girls and am lucky to have worked with such a great group.</li>
<li>My team here at Sole'. They have been so welcoming and patient, and I once again have the privilege to say that I truly love my job and look forward to going to work.</li>
<li>Jenni...for 8 million different reasons.</li>
<li>Toni. This transition has been so smooth largely because of my boss. I love that when I tell people I work for her, they immediately light up and go on and on about how great she and her husband are. It's nice to know I work with the best kind of people.</li>
<li>My best friend, my PIC, the gin to my tonic - my sister.</li>
<li>That I come from a country where I have the freedom to think, speak, act, worship, etc how I want and believe. </li>
<li>That I had the opportunity to move to a foreign country and start my life over...and it's actually working out!</li>
<li>The kindness of others. I have been so blessed with the best people in my life, both friends and strangers, and I don't take any of it for granted. </li>
<li>Marian. :) </li>
<li>Scully's awesome foster family. They LOVE her and it sounds like she's happy as a clam. </li>
<li>Sunshine and warmth every day. God, it is glooooorious!</li>
<li>My roommate Rob. He's a good guy and an easy person to live with. Perfect match!</li>
<li>Rob's impressive movie/tv download collection. We're working through Game of Thrones right now. Soooo good.</li>
<li>Facial guests with massive extractions. YESSSS.</li>
<li>Friends back in the States.</li>
<li>New friends here in Tortola.</li>
<li>Having Sundays off.</li>
<li>My impressive lung capacity and breath control (Mom, all those years of singing and training did pay off!) which is helping out with my diving.</li>
<li>All the babies that are being born to my friends and loved ones! You guys are killing me with the cute pictures and countdown calendars. </li>
<li>Never having to wear socks (unless I'm running). </li>
<li>Being able to see the water every single day. </li>
<li>Being able to go to the beach just about whenever I want.</li>
<li>Happiness.</li>
<li>Internet! I love that I was able to virtually hangout with my whole family this afternoon on Thanksgiving. </li>
<li>New beginnings and second chances. </li>
<li>Roti.</li>
<li>That I finally seem to be getting my "island blood" and the bug bites are decreasing. Not gone, but at least it's better!</li>
<li>That what most people call a vacation, I now call home.</li>
</ul>
<div>
Happy Thanksgiving from the Caribbean! I was able to celebrate with a shit ton of other people at a friend's place and had a fabulous time. Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, pie...the whole works. While I missed being with my family, and I miss my dad even more, I would say that my first holiday as an expat went off without a hitch. </div>
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We'll see how I feel when Christmas rolls around...</div>
Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-82814525403540804792012-11-17T22:35:00.000-04:002012-11-17T22:35:21.896-04:00Oh There’s No Place Like Home (?) For The Holidays
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Whoa, next week is Thanksgiving. How did that happen? Is it
really the holiday season? It’s a very weird feeling here; with no real change
in weather to signal fall/winter (as well as a lack of American Thanksgiving
hoopla, obviously) it doesn’t really feel like the holidays. There will be no
white Christmas on Tortola, and Santa’s sleigh is an island beater pulled by chickens
and is full of rum and coconuts.</div>
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Just kidding.</div>
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I’m not complaining, mind you. Anyone who knows me knows how
I detest snow and cold weather. A sunny, 85 degree Christmas is a-ok by me.
Dressing for Thanksgiving dinner in a sundress and flip flops is my kind of
holiday. It’s just going to take some time for my brain to really register that
we aren’t living in perpetual summer months. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
The difficult part to the holidays as a single expat is not
being with your family and being alone. I’ve spent holidays away from them
before, but I was always with another family or had the promise of seeing mine
soon. It’s not quite as painful that way. Now, I’ve built a life where I will
honestly not get to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with my family for a long,
long time…if ever. That’s a sobering thought.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTx40Y1kNureEJgxtL2pit2iaSdkemqkdx-fd-6wvkuGGM9X4GLJhSe4jqDhRJ6xVequTtiXNjeS56WihSa6IH7x8v076-q6x2sRbnK9IWEpdFiPM1zf3h-aOkkdBSzi6ePZn5ZFR9kS0/s1600/100_1804.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTx40Y1kNureEJgxtL2pit2iaSdkemqkdx-fd-6wvkuGGM9X4GLJhSe4jqDhRJ6xVequTtiXNjeS56WihSa6IH7x8v076-q6x2sRbnK9IWEpdFiPM1zf3h-aOkkdBSzi6ePZn5ZFR9kS0/s320/100_1804.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sisters! Christmas 2011</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Logistically, it’s practically impossible for me.
Thanksgiving is just another day in the BVI, so there is no long weekend or
time off for traveling. It also falls at the head of our busy season. Traveling
back to the States for Christmas? Not a snowball’s chance in Tortola. That’s
high season for us, not to mention airfare is stupid expensive. Nope, if I’m
going to see my family at the holidays then it will be via the magic of the
internet or if they choose to come to me.<br />
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I knew this was a part of the bargain. It was no surprise to
me that I’d be spending the season 4000 miles from my family. I’ve accepted it,
and I’ll learn to make the best of it. Fortunately I’ve made some amazing
friends here already and yes, I do have plans for Thanksgiving dinner this
coming week. I will not be alone for my first Thanksgiving as an expat. No
worries there! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My nephew Ethan (Dr. Doolittle himself) and Scully, Christmas 2011 </td></tr>
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However, it’s still going to be hard for the first few
years. Thanksgiving is one thing, but Christmas will be another. Almost all of
my 30 Christmas Eves have been spent having aebleskiver with the family, going
to church, listening to Neil Diamond Christmas albums (don’t hate) and preparing
for Christmas Day together. This year I imagine I’ll Skype with my sister and
parents while attempting to make aebleskiver on my own…if I can find a monk pan
on island. I suppose I should start hunting now. At any rate, I’m sure my
carefully crafted strong exterior will crack and I’ll break down like a little
sissy girl. My roommate will find me blubbering into my doughy balls of heaven,
whimpering Christmas tunes to myself while It’s A Wonderful Life plays in the
background. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first one will be the hardest. I’m sure that every year
after that will get a little bit easier. It has to, right? </div>
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<br /></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFFTbBBN94nQezmA6mkIf6m-E0Hn0YqY1T8P-H41n4DkC1VsEOgHOQ0RI3381Z4gP73ARVi41KhK5zt3VnQs6tkFyoFPEIcFdpwzU74YFzuYVMbjEKJWzkgMcxSyAlx4Ii5e0lshXCx9E/s1600/IMG_0617.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFFTbBBN94nQezmA6mkIf6m-E0Hn0YqY1T8P-H41n4DkC1VsEOgHOQ0RI3381Z4gP73ARVi41KhK5zt3VnQs6tkFyoFPEIcFdpwzU74YFzuYVMbjEKJWzkgMcxSyAlx4Ii5e0lshXCx9E/s320/IMG_0617.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aebleskiver. I'd kill a man over these. You think I'm kidding...</td></tr>
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Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-42531878356628172522012-11-11T02:48:00.000-04:002012-11-11T02:48:51.575-04:00Two Years Ago Today, Part 1Two years ago today I was not a healthy person - physically, mentally, or emotionally. On the outside I seemed fine. Over many years I had mastered the art of pretending I was ok, and no one would have guessed just what was going on in my head and heart.<br />
<br />
Two years ago today I sat in my townhouse, alone, on a Thursday night. After trying so hard for so long, the sadness and darkness inside finally swallowed me up. That horrible voice in my head became louder and louder, telling me that it wasn't worth it any more. <b><i>I</i></b> wasn't worth it any more.<br />
<br />
Two years ago today, I spiraled so low that I thought life wasn't worth living. Anyone who knows the real me knows how dark a place that had to be, as I am often the sunniest, most ridiculously optimistic person you'll come across. I wrote letters. I said goodbyes. I took pills in amounts that one shouldn't ingest and swallowed it down with entirely too much alcohol. I made decisions that can only be made in the depths of depression and helplessness.<br />
<br />
I'm lucky; I had someone that figured out what was going on and intervened. They called for help, got in touch with my sister, reluctantly got me in the ambulance. The night is much of a drug-induced blur for me, but I remember the sobbing and protesting and the feeling of complete and total failure. I couldn't believe that, in addition to all of the other things in my life I had effed up, I managed to eff this up too. In that moment, I really felt like things would never get better; that I would always be stuck in that dark, dark place.<br />
<br />
But two years ago today, I was given a second chance. In the days and weeks that followed I experienced so much love and support that it made my head spin. I had no idea that I was that loved. Sometimes you just can't see the forest for the trees.<br />
<br />
When I think back now on that night two years ago it blows my mind. Comparing where I was then to where I'm at now, on multiple levels, is night and day. As awful as it was, I needed to hit that rock bottom place in order to climb back up. As I sit in my bedroom in the Caribbean, listening to the sounds of the island, feeling the balmy night air through my window and reflecting on all the amazing experiences I've had over the past two years, it's hard to believe I ever felt that this incredible, beautiful life wasn't worth living. Every day I thank God for the second chance, for the people in my life who lifted me up and carried me through that ordeal and the following month...which would turn out to be the worst month of my life.<br />
<br />
I know this next month is going to be hard. I know I'm going to feel sadness and loss and regret. But, I also know that I have come so, so far in the past two years and that I never plan to go back to that horrible place. Two years ago I'd have never, ever guessed that I'd be living in a foreign country, doing what I love and being happier than I can really remember. I'm just so grateful that I was given the opportunity.<br />
<br />
The past two years have taught me a lot about myself. Now, being in this place, I know that it was all worth it. I wouldn't be here if I hadn't broken down. This move, this new life, is my panacea. The ocean is my therapist, the sunshine my medication. I look forward to what the next two years have in store.<br />
<br />Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-15862688873862752422012-11-07T23:06:00.002-04:002012-11-07T23:06:35.500-04:00Things I Have Learned In My First Month On Island<br />
<ol>
<li>You always say good morning (before noon), good afternoon, or good night (when it's dark) as a greeting. Good night is a greeting, not just a way to say good bye.</li>
<li>I can hitchhike, and pick up hitchhikers, and not get mugged or murdered.</li>
<li>Driving on the left side of the road is much easier than anticipated.</li>
<li>For the first time ever, I'm a minority.</li>
<li>No power = no water at my house. Our cistern pump is electric. I discovered this when I went to shower this morning (thinking, "Hey, no power, but at least I'll have cold water!") and the water ran out as the shampoo was still in my hair. Lesson learned.</li>
<li>Roosters don't care what time of day or night it is. Those little effers will crow whenever they want.</li>
<li>Hanging your laundry to dry on the line is actually quite nice. Although I will be taking my towels and linens to a laundromat to dry them. I can't handle the fuzzies! </li>
<li>Spiders like to hide in clothespins. :(</li>
<li>My hair LOVES the humidity. It's behaving quite well.</li>
<li>Hearing your UK friends do their best stereotypical American accent is a guaranteed laugh.</li>
<li>Sometimes you have a stove/oven that you have to light with a lighter. That was a new one for me. Now I'm cookin' with FIRE!</li>
<li>I can survive without a Starbucks.</li>
<li>Always have a plastic grocery bag or two in your car for wet flip flops/towels/bathing suits.</li>
<li>Bugs are inevitable. </li>
<li>Suck it up and use nasty bug spray, at least on your feet and ankles. </li>
<li>A smile and boobs get you far, no matter what country you're in.</li>
<li>I can survive without constant Internet. SHOCK OF ALL SHOCKS, I know.</li>
<li>When it gets dark here, it gets daaaaark. :( </li>
<li>Vodka + Ting = a "cool summer breeze", in the words of my friend Jake. Mmmm. Vodka Tings. </li>
<li>It is possible to meet people and make friends in a totally natural and organic way. I just had to get out of Seattle to do it. </li>
<li>In some backwards parts of the world, a bathing suit is called a "swimming costume" or just a "cozzie". I laughed my ass off at that one. </li>
<li>I've barely done any official working out and I haven't counted a single calorie...and I'm down 12 lbs in the month I've been here. Here's to happiness being the true key to weight loss!</li>
<li>Hair and nails grow faster in this climate. It's weirding me out.</li>
<li>Making out on the beach in the rain is quite possibly one of the coolest things to do. I mean, not that I DID that or anything...heh heh heh...</li>
<li>Most non-locals you meet here fall into 1 of 4 categories: lawyer, "I work for a trust company" (what IS that, btw?), boat captain/crew, diver. I swear, that's 98% of the people I meet. </li>
<li>Kicking off your flip flops before hitting the dance floor at Elms is definitely preferred. </li>
<li>People like to buy other's drinks here. What goes around comes around!</li>
<li>What do we do with our garbage? Tie up the bag, put it in your car, and dump it in one of the dumpsters on the side of the road all around the island. Yup!</li>
<li>Even when I'm feeling a little down, I just look out on the water or go to the beach and everything is right again.</li>
<li>Moving 4000 miles away did not allow me to escape how much I miss Dad. In fact, it's magnified here. Every day I want to call him and tell him all about this adventure. </li>
<li>THERE ARE SPIDERS THAT JUMP. Thank God my housemate was around to take care of that one!</li>
<li>Sunshine, booze, and the white sand beach out at Jost will lead you to a sunburn, even if you think you're being diligent about reapplication. </li>
<li>Halloween is a "white person thing" here. Ha. </li>
<li>I miss my family, I miss my friends, but I've not had a single "crying my eyes out in my apartment all night" episode. I've had one breakdown (Dad related) and that's really it.</li>
<li>I am much stronger, braver, and capable than I ever gave myself credit for. In my first month here I secured housing, bought a car, got all my paperwork finished, opened a bank account, got a cell phone, braved the Elevator (crazy ass steep hill that is terrifying), successfully passed my BVI drive test and got a license, started my dive certification, made friends, and transitioned smoothly into my new job. I feel freaking awesome.</li>
<li>Some of the kindest, warmest people are here in the BVI. I'm truly home.</li>
</ol>
Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-64841596495415986292012-10-17T21:56:00.002-04:002012-10-17T21:56:34.335-04:00Little By LittleQuickly, as my battery is dying and I'm sweaty and need a shower before I go to bed:<br />
<br />
- I'm official! All my paperwork was approved and stamped yesterday. WOOHOOO! I have a BVI Social Security card and am considered a work-permit resident. Yeah! Good for another year!<br />
<br />
- I got my bank account set up yesterday, and my BVI cell phone done today. It's starting to feel more real.<br />
<br />
- I DROVE ON THE LEFT! It wasn't too terrifying. I even went up one of the worst hills on the island in the little rental car and survived. Now if I could just find a car to buy...<br />
<br />
- Cooper Island didn't happen this week. :( Maybe next. I'll get out there one way or another eventually!<br />
<br />
- Just three more days of work, then I get Sunday and Monday off as Monday is a holiday in the BVI (St. Ursula's Day).<br />
<br />
- I STILL ITCH SO BAAAAAAD MAKE IT STOP PLEASE :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(<br />
<br />
<br />Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-48955176879750182532012-10-15T20:19:00.000-04:002012-10-15T20:19:10.323-04:00Cross One Off The ListWoohoo! I have a place to live!<br />
<br />
It's the top level of a house in Pockwood Pond, a good central location between town and the West End and also close to Nanny Cay and some good ex-pat hangouts. For convenience sake I'll stay in my temporary housing until the end of the month then make the move. My housemate is a super cool Canadian guy who is very CLEAN and laid back. I'll probably only stay for 6 months until I get adjusted, then look for a place on my own that will take Scully once I get her. But! In the meantime it's a great deal and a good place. Whew!<br />
<br />
Next up is to finalize my paperwork tomorrow, then I should be done and legal. I hope. Ugh. After that will be obtaining my Social Security card, getting my BVI phone set up, opening a bank account, and getting my drivers license. Oh, and buying a car. I NEED A CAR. Like now. I'm a liar, that's at the tippy top of my priority list!<br />
<br />
On Wednesday I might get to go out to Cooper Island to do outcall massage on a catamaran. WHAT?! How cool is that?? We're just waiting to confirm with the guests, but I have my fingers and toes crossed that it happens.<br />
<br />
Thursday is my weekday off this week. Originally I was going to go over to St. Thomas to see my best guy friend who was supposed to be in town, but the wedding he was attending got called off last minute. :( Sad, no? Doubly sad because I don't get to see JR. So now I think I'll spend my day off doing the necessary errands stated above and going in for a very overdue adjustment by one of my first BVI friends, the new chiropractor on the island! We met up last night for a drink at Myett's down in Cane Garden Bay in the POURING rain (oh yeah, the tropical storm we were supposed to get? Nuthin'!), then waltzed over to the Elm for Caribbean barbeque and the same band I heard play last year! It was a blast. I had a great night and am excited to have made a friend. We discussed maybe hitting up Jost Van Dyke on Sunday and drinking at the beach bars there all day, as Monday is a holiday here on island. Ah, island life.<br />
<br />
The spa is fabulous. My coworkers are nice chicks, the guests are great, my boss is amazing. She's no Jenni, of course, but who could be? :) At any rate, I'm happy. Honestly, truly happy. Even with all the ups and downs and road blocks and new things and such, I'm happy. Of course I miss everyone (and Starbucks, not gonna lie), but I really feel like I'm at home here.Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-25699059973897695262012-10-11T22:25:00.001-04:002012-10-11T22:25:16.770-04:00Don't Tell My Sister......but I successfully hitchhiked for the first time tonight!<br />
<br />
Granted, I got passed a BUNCH before it happened, but it was late and dark and I am an unknown white girl. But still! I could have hoofed it up the giant hill, but I'd had a delicious dinner of conch fritters and a Painkiller (oh, and some key lime pie) at Myett's and I just didn't want to hike up after that. So, I walked a bit then stood at the bottom and hitched a ride up. GO ME. I'M A BIG GIRL.<br />
<br />
Two exciting things today:<br />
<br />
1. I'm almost completely thought the immigration process! I successfully picked up my papers from the clinic today, then went to the Labour department (no issues) and the Immigration department (one small hiccup, but we corrected it on-site). They kept all my shiz and told me to come back Tuesday to pick it up. HOPEFULLY there are no issues and it will just be a matter of grabbing my papers and being done. My coworker was not so lucky. She's having some issues and her time is running out, as we only have 2 weeks to be on the island and get our papers in order before we're supposed to go back off island and start again. She got here a week ahead of me and has had a few other issues. It should all be resolved and Immigration told my boss she could get an extention, but it's still been very very stressful for poor Toni and C.<br />
<br />
2. Someone came by the spa and said hi to me! Before I came down I had corresponded a bit with the new chiropractor on island, as he sent me a nice welcoming message after I posted to the BVI board on Facebook and offered his assistance and advice. So imagine my surprise when my coworker told me a man was there to see me...and it was Dr. B! How nice. He said he was walking through and figured he'd come say hi and see how I was doing. He offered to put me in touch with his realtor and his mechanic to assist with my apartment and car searches. I have a friend, y'all!<br />
<br />
Tomorrow night after work I'm meeting up with a guy about a potential house. It's a great situation, but I'm learning that I might not want to live in that area. But, it might be a good option for the first 6 months. We'll see. Saturday will be at the spa, of course. Then I'm off on Sunday! C and I are going to snorkel in Cane Garden Bay, weather allowing. We're supposed to have a tropical depression roll in which means a ton of rain, apparently. Go figure. Oh well...I'm still in the most amazing place and I'm going to take advantage of it. I'm from the Northwest; a little rain can't hold me down.<br />
<br />
However, I have got to figure out something to do about these bugs. :( Toni said to take a B Vitamin complex with garlic in it. And to stop scratching. Easier said than done!<br />
<br />
<br />Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-44161291735946781122012-10-10T21:26:00.000-04:002012-10-10T21:26:07.937-04:00On Being The New GirlNot gonna lie, going from knowing EVERYTHING about your job and how it operates to knowing jack squat and having to flop around like a fish out of water is tough. Luckily Toni and my coworkers are very cool and I do have a lot of experience under my belt, but it's still weird to be in the trainee position and have to ask things like, "Where do these towels go?" I'm trying to be as sponge-like as possible and soak up all that I can while leaving aside my previous habits and the obnoxious "well I did it THIS way at my other spa" mentality.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgclPaGZ7tmAFaFkz6AC-VRdiiC2ez9ml51w6z99zKcWirJLLBTelcnDGjLDAJk7gYLkKxV3GfXr1q6qoY2E-YWFjDmUZmC1dSpRns4WfgSmYUnAP5OcIYvwpkBfWeUjUZyBuk4J06VOfU/s1600/100_1696.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgclPaGZ7tmAFaFkz6AC-VRdiiC2ez9ml51w6z99zKcWirJLLBTelcnDGjLDAJk7gYLkKxV3GfXr1q6qoY2E-YWFjDmUZmC1dSpRns4WfgSmYUnAP5OcIYvwpkBfWeUjUZyBuk4J06VOfU/s320/100_1696.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My new little corner of the spa world! The BVI's #1 choice. </td></tr>
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The upside to being new (and having another newbie at the same time) is training on each other. C gave me a salt scrub today (I gave her one yesterday) and I did a clay wrap on her (which I'll receive tomorrow). Sweeeeet. I love working in a spa.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBDHExEuGjertTj16SSVlCOCka141CobKLeQSgtlNCXhs8v_o0Vt6e9UCXBPdk_HV-cE3ZM8EyFS_AsRqy1MAIH3l9pPqfMqVNdZrPDVvdJTWQUg8WZFysaIg2x8dM0BkOBXgJngfH_ls/s320/100_1701.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="240" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our lobby, looking towards the door.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
While Toni was driving me to the grocery store tonight she said, "I really hope you like it here. I think you're a really great addition to the spa and we need your upbeat, positive energy. Besides, you "get it" and we think so much alike!" That made me feel like a rockstar. We are both very guest-centered; apparently that hasn't always been the mindset of all the therapists. She appreciates my managerial background and I'm glad that my work ethic and commitment to service are so obvious.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow afternoon I have my first two guests! Well, after I spend the morning (and most likely ALL morning) at the government health clinic for attempt #2 at getting my papers signed off. If we're successful, we'll try for the Labour and Immigration offices. We'll see how much luck the island gods grant us.<br />
<br />
My mom laughed at me last night for saying "tinned tomatoes" instead of canned. Shit. It's already begun.<br />
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Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-1906126919267601672012-10-09T21:17:00.003-04:002012-10-09T21:17:41.374-04:00I DID IT. HOLY CRAP I LIVE HERE. I LIVE IN THE CARIBBEAN.<br />
<br />
Sunday night, after a painful and tearful goodbye to my family, I hopped on a plane for my new life. 19 hours later I arrived in Tortola. My flights were fine, for the most part. The first leg was AMAZING as I upgraded myself to first class. That's the way to fly, holy moly. I had so much leg room and a lot of wine! Once I was quite drunk I slept like a baby until just before we landed in Miami. The flight from Miami to St Thomas was a bit rough at times and I wished I had some Xanax, but we survived and made it onto the runway in one piece. Yay!<br />
<br />
The ferry ride from St. Thomas to Tortola took FOR. EV. ER. (say that in The Sandlot kid's voice) as there were a bunch of drunk airline people with a bajillion bags and crap for a big sailing event that goes on every year. I ended up sitting next to a nice guy that works for Delta who told me all about it. Interesting. But! I made it to the Road Town ferry terminal, my papers got me through, and I met up with Toni (new boss) on the other side! She ran me by a grocery store to grab food to get me through the next morning, then I came to my temporary home, unpacked, ate a bowl of granola, and PASSED OUT.<br />
<br />
It was dark when I got to my place last night, but when I woke up this morning and looked out my patio doors I was greeted with the most amazing view of Cane Garden Bay. Pictures to come soon, I promise. Blue water, green hillsides, dazzling sunshine...yeah, I made the right decision. I love it here.<br />
<br />
Toni took C, the other new therapist, and I took the government health clinic at 8:30am to attempt to get our exams completed. Yeah...no. :( They took our papers and told us to come back Thursday morning, and told me that I needed another form from my doctor for my TB test. UGGGHHHH. I had to call my doctor and get them to do a document, scan it, and email it to me. I opened it tonight and, of course, it's missing a very vital piece of information (that I KNOW I very clearly told them I needed about 4 times), so I left a message, emailed back, and will be calling as soon as they open tomorrow to have them send that back to me as soon as possible so I have it for my 8:30am attempt #2 on Thursday. We can't do any of the Labour & Immigration stuff until the health exam is done. Welcome to island life!<br />
<br />
After our failure at the clinic, C and I walked over to Sole' and I worked my first day! I didn't think I'd be working so soon, but we started training and everything. I have guests on the books for Thursday. YAY. I'm ready to rock. I gave Toni a massage at the end of the day so she could experience my hands (she said it was amazing, for the record) and then we cleaned up and took off. We ran by the store again as Toni needed something, so I picked up some food items to make dinner and lunch for the next few days until I can do a big shopping trip.<br />
<br />
C and I decided that we needed to hit the beach tonight, so once we got home we promptly changed into our suits and hiked down the giiiiaaaaant hill to Cane Garden Bay and got our happy asses in the water. Ahh. This is my life now! The only bummer is that we had to hike back UP the giiiiaaaaaant hill, but I just looked at it as an awesome workout. Glass half full, right?<br />
<br />
Now I'm sitting outside of the motel office, the only place we can pick up the wifi signal, and enjoying the balmy evening. Through the magic of the internet I was able to talk to my sister for a few minutes, and hopefully I'll talk to Mom tonight or tomorrow. Tomorrow I might try to get my phone set up if I can do that on my lunch hour. I'm hopefully looking at a potential apartment/house this week or weekend, and I'll contact a rental place tomorrow to help with the search as well. In the meantime, I'll continue to thank God for the amazing opportunity and embrace my new home!Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-91692985568322295832012-10-04T02:15:00.001-04:002012-10-04T02:15:13.158-04:00Puppy LoveTonight, I said goodbye and gave my last snuggles for awhile to my dog nephew, Mulder. I also had to say goodbye to Rudy, my sister's fiance's wonderful dog.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9OTtquoLA5U5HnNZXtK6I8YiZ8kHzbNfbqqhHDimu51hJh3YUoT-08_VXTxk0PJ1erlk4da19ftwJ45gEX-j_NxfGOIvjHey2xUuEm176kwSaGlTNomLN2r8vfxAKRueoDxXM-LHkCA/s1600/IMG_1081.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu9OTtquoLA5U5HnNZXtK6I8YiZ8kHzbNfbqqhHDimu51hJh3YUoT-08_VXTxk0PJ1erlk4da19ftwJ45gEX-j_NxfGOIvjHey2xUuEm176kwSaGlTNomLN2r8vfxAKRueoDxXM-LHkCA/s320/IMG_1081.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All the cousins! Mulder, Scully, and Rudy.</td></tr>
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Now I'm lying in bed (yes, with my computer. I'm single. Whatevs.) with my little Scully curled up under the covers in her favorite spot behind my knees...and this is the last night I'll have her for a long, long time. Tomorrow night she goes to her foster family, where she will be loved and snuggled and adored until next August.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCHEy31ViZzQ1MzTuCU8oGIGZBVqZ7z2X1u6u4dadHibO83BDt8S7Q5FqXovxJzw0GVzDWoDhT7OvcQaadfwKMptCiCF6W99yFfC1D5izzFE8BCW6JhnCrCSQV0VccMhdeGogeuK8lFyg/s1600/IMG_0963.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCHEy31ViZzQ1MzTuCU8oGIGZBVqZ7z2X1u6u4dadHibO83BDt8S7Q5FqXovxJzw0GVzDWoDhT7OvcQaadfwKMptCiCF6W99yFfC1D5izzFE8BCW6JhnCrCSQV0VccMhdeGogeuK8lFyg/s320/IMG_0963.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sleepy Scully</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPBGR1paaOUqAinExo_GUKq6W5M-8LXKDh9C-WcUyc_zpwB-Z3TJaaktctm_NuK86ZN5RlPp2sRi6__g3PMzdjLzwkMmqZ6JY6ZlJTXuw5OKkBrNcsqm7QAYMdzKrz7hhPZXOqjRHAFKw/s1600/IMG_0141.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPBGR1paaOUqAinExo_GUKq6W5M-8LXKDh9C-WcUyc_zpwB-Z3TJaaktctm_NuK86ZN5RlPp2sRi6__g3PMzdjLzwkMmqZ6JY6ZlJTXuw5OKkBrNcsqm7QAYMdzKrz7hhPZXOqjRHAFKw/s320/IMG_0141.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mulder </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUFRk4KEHdj_qB8ZAF-hYOVa6T3nwtrmxTWtBDmmynRyBp_Kt2e3-1rtwxHZxAYPnOafM3RkAIGpkTAzLIyjEWoMrWo5eevMvLXbhhPY7i-6DE9n9yucysZztLNIQQ3D5G0AZRQiwdRDI/s1600/IMG_0497.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUFRk4KEHdj_qB8ZAF-hYOVa6T3nwtrmxTWtBDmmynRyBp_Kt2e3-1rtwxHZxAYPnOafM3RkAIGpkTAzLIyjEWoMrWo5eevMvLXbhhPY7i-6DE9n9yucysZztLNIQQ3D5G0AZRQiwdRDI/s320/IMG_0497.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cousin Love <3</td></tr>
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<br />
Shit's getting real now. Leaving my little girl is so hard. She's been my buddy through a lot, and she brings me such happiness and love every single day. I will be counting down the days until I can get her down to Tortola with me. She's going to be in very good hands, but I'm going to miss her so much.<br />
<br />
Be good, little girl! You'll be in the sunshine with me soon enough.Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-19967118445833416032012-10-01T13:48:00.001-04:002012-10-01T13:48:43.822-04:00One Week From Right Now......I will be getting ready to land in St. Thomas. My new life will be starting. I'll be 4000 miles away, completely on my own, and scared as sh*t. My entire life will be packed into 2 suitcases, a carry-on, and a backpack.<br />
<br />
WHAT AM I DOOOOOING????<br />
<br />
So yes, it's here. The time is very VERY quickly approaching for me to fly off to paradise and become an ex-pat. These past 6 weeks have been a blur, especially considering I've been waiting and planning for 18 months.<br />
<br />
On August 27th, I talked on the phone with BVI Boss about where we were in the permit process and if we could set dates. She said not yet, but that we were close.<br />
<br />
On August 28th, I got out of my hot yoga class and had a message from her. I sat in my car, sweaty and disgusting, and played the voicemail...then promptly burst into tears when I heard her say, "I have good news! Your permit has been approved!" Tears probably aren't the most accurate descriptor. Sobbing, bawling, "ugly crying" as my sister would say, would be a better term. Through the tears I called my mom, sister, and Jenni to let them know. IT WAS FINALLY HERE!<br />
<br />
On August 29th, I purchased my airplane tickets. Sunday, October 7th at 9:40pm. BAM.<br />
<br />
So since the end of August, my life has been madness. I've done a bajillion massages trying to get all of my beloved guests in one last time, worked a ton of hours, cleaned/organized every item I own, given away even MORE stuff, received my final paperwork and got my police records and health exam completed (I don't have syphilis, TB, or parasites in my poop. Yay!), sold my car (*tear*), had a minor freak-out over dog fostering which was then promptly squelched by awesome people in my life, partied with friends, visited people, driven up to my sister's place numerous times, and had more than one breakdown.<br />
<br />
I found out in early August that I wouldn't be able to take Scully with me at first. This whole time I had planned on having my dog with me and had started working with the vet to get her ready, but my boss informed me that I couldn't have her in the temporary housing I'd be in for the first month. Besides, she said, it'd be much better for me to get there and get settled, then have someone bring her or get her when I went back to the States for a visit. Completely logical, but of course I started to stress. I knew my family couldn't take her. A friend then offered if I couldn't get anyone else...but then 2 weeks ago she realized she was having issues with care for her own dog while she was at work and said she might not be able to take Scully. I completely understood, but freaked out a little again.<br />
<br />
Luckily a guest (and friend) of mine had offered to be a back up if something went wrong with the first person. So! Scully will be living with a wonderful family with 3 little boys and another little dog and she is going to LOVE it. I took her over there last week to meet everyone and it was perfect. The boys ran around and chased her and threw things for her and she had a blast. They promised to snuggle her and let her sleep with them. S & T, the mom and dad, are amazing people and I feel completely at ease about Sculls staying with them. S assured me that Scully can stay as long as I need. Considering that might be until I come home for Kate's wedding next August, I was/am completely floored by their kindness. The boys apparently keep asking about Scully and when she's coming to live with them. :) Scully will be going to her extended vacation on Thursday evening (so they can take her out of town to Leavenworth this weekend. Lucky dog! I've never even been!) and start to get her acclimated. I am going to miss my little girl SO MUCH, but I know this is the best and most responsible way to handle the situation. Once again, I have the most amazing people in my life. I'm so blessed!<br />
<br />
One of the other most difficult things for me was saying goodbye to Solei. I had my last official shift last Sunday (minus a massage I did Thursday night that couldn't be rescheduled earlier), and it was painful. I wouldn't be where I'm at, I wouldn't be doing what I am, I wouldn't be the therapist I am, without that place. I know it's in good hands and my guests will be well taken care of, but I still have a very strong sense of responsibility and pride. That's been my home for the past 4 years. My rock. I've seen it grow from the ground up. I'm the last original team member. But, every baby bird has to leave the nest at some point. Time to fly on.<br />
<br />
Which brings us to my last week here. I have SO MUCH TO DO, but it will get done. I have plans with friends this week, errands to run, crap to pack, and parties to attend. While I'd love to say I'm totally ready for everything, I'm not; I'm completely terrified. Full on freak out mode. But it's ok! It's all ok. The control freak in me is having a hard time with all the unknowns but I just need to trust and have faith and let it go. Everything will be fine.<br />
<br />
I suppose I should shower and actually get my rear in gear...Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-80731262871454036632012-06-11T22:28:00.001-04:002012-06-11T22:28:05.766-04:00Hurry Up And WaitThe first round of my work permit paper is gathered, signed, and sent back off to Tortola. Now I wait for Labour and Immigration approval so I can quickly get a health exam and TB test, police records, and whatever else they need and send it back as soon as possible again.<br />
<br />
Gaaaaaaaaaah it's the waiting that kills me! I just want everything to be approved so I can buy my plane ticket and actually have an official move date. The control freak in me is having a hard time letting go and trusting in the system. Unfortunately I have no other choice. Just have to hurry up and wait.<br />
<br />
<br />Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-72249537626649549182012-06-06T03:29:00.000-04:002012-06-06T03:29:44.133-04:00The Next StepWhat am I doing at 11:52pm on a school night? I'm photocopying my massage license, certificates, and passport. Why?<br />
<br />
BECAUSE MY WORK PERMIT PAPERWORK CAME YESTERDAY!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPHbiRW5SkbWOmy2oglec57SPp4IfdqmwwItgR6LJ8v7AqkS2Rk9OLcHq8IJQkJOHthzwehl3y_IuJSc8ds_Xjb9EUQlFz7prZg4vRF3rBwVgJRewPs1SkVbNxHlXyarh6SymPiUmx9IY/s1600/photo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPHbiRW5SkbWOmy2oglec57SPp4IfdqmwwItgR6LJ8v7AqkS2Rk9OLcHq8IJQkJOHthzwehl3y_IuJSc8ds_Xjb9EUQlFz7prZg4vRF3rBwVgJRewPs1SkVbNxHlXyarh6SymPiUmx9IY/s320/photo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
Yeah, I might have cried a little bit. It feels so exciting and overwhelming and<i> real </i>now. This year-and-a-half process is starting to come to a close. Actually the hard work is just now starting, but at least the end is in sight!<br />
<br />
I had to sign a bunch of Labour and Immigration documents for my permit, as well as my contract with Sole', and have to send off copies of my license/certificates/passport/etc. In addition I'm required to send 1-2 character reference letters. I guess this is so they know I'm not going to come on island and murder a bunch of people while smuggling drugs and mooching off the government? I dunno. At any rate I asked Jenni to write one (her response: "But I don't really like you." Ha. So so funny!) and for the other I asked Angie, my best friend from high school who has known me the longest and the best. Of anyone, she can give an accurate character analysis. I know that I could have asked numerous people for references and they'd have jumped at the chance. I'm so damn lucky!<br />
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<br />
Tomorrow during lunch I'll get the passport-sized photos that are requested, then I just have to tweak my resume a bit and wait for the letters and I'll be ready to mail it all back! We're shooting to FedEx it out on Monday. Then we wait for the approval from Labour and Immigration. After THAT, I have to get a health exam and TB test, as well as my (non-existant) police records from every city I've lived in the past 5 years. Then we wait. Again.<br />
<br />
To think that in roughly 4 months I will be living in the Caribbean and starting an entirely new chapter of my life is just mind blowing. I am not looking forward to the numerous and painful goodbyes I'm going to have to make, however. It already breaks my heart every time one of my beloved guests says, "I'm going to miss you so much!" or "What am I going to do without you?" or "I guess I'll just have to come to the BVI for my massages now!" I'm trying to get in as much Sister Time as possible, because I know that I'm going to be sitting in my lonely apartment in that period of time before I have any friends or social life bawling my eyes out because all I want in the world is to be hanging out with my sister. The time I spend with my friends and family is precious. There are so many people I want to see before I go and I worry that I won't have the time. I suppose it's on me to make the time.<br />
<br />
My tentative plan is to go for two years or so, then perhaps come back to a really good opportunity that's been presented to me. However, there is the understanding that I may get to Tortola and never, ever want to leave. I know what happens when I try to micromanage my life; it falls to shit. Instead, I'm going to leave my options and my heart open to whatever presents itself. If that means coming back to the PNW, fantastic. If I'm led to stay in the BVI, then so be it. One way or another, everything turns out the way it should in the end.<br />
<br />
And to all the people who keep telling me they're going to come visit me - DO IT! I want visitors!<br />
<br />
<br />Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-665837143802614360.post-61155152202896169762012-04-17T02:13:00.000-04:002012-04-17T02:14:50.430-04:00I Don't Need Anything That I Don't Have<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've got a list of "Things I Need/Want To Do Before I Leave The Country" going. Seeing friends, spending time with the fam, visiting favorite places, eating favorite foods, yadda yadda yadda. This weekend, by the grace of God and pure dumb luck, I was able to cross a very important one off my list; see <a href="http://glenphillips.com/" target="_blank">Glen Phillips</a> again. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjoVQ7MNqLkhzUPnbaYGMZAKb7ULTkO2olr0vYmeiCFSiciOC_Sd6dYkKu-JywTcyt1yOp24cWdw3v_R44QkEDT55wb7OG1aS6n9673iTHL8KKn7IbGvVrxGgv48-U3cpvXptHn2rBqYI/s1600/Glen+Triple+Door+2008.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjoVQ7MNqLkhzUPnbaYGMZAKb7ULTkO2olr0vYmeiCFSiciOC_Sd6dYkKu-JywTcyt1yOp24cWdw3v_R44QkEDT55wb7OG1aS6n9673iTHL8KKn7IbGvVrxGgv48-U3cpvXptHn2rBqYI/s320/Glen+Triple+Door+2008.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Glen @ The Triple Door<br />the same weekend I graduated from massage school and turned 26. Yeah!</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tortola has a very vibrant music scene and I'm super stoked for the bands and musicians I'll be exposed to and fall in love with while I'm there. However, I have a deep and passionate love for a few musicians and artists back here in the States and I was worried I wouldn't get the chance to see them again before I took off. In February I got to see <a href="http://jonathankingham.com/" target="_blank">Jonathan Kingham</a>, one of the dudes on my list. It was a fun show and it introduced me to another phenomenal local musician named <a href="http://www.ryansheasmith.com/ryan/Home.html" target="_blank">Ryan Shea Smith</a> (I was HOOKED from the start, kid you not. He's goooooood. In addition, he's a super nice guy and very, very handsome. Swoon.). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then, this past Friday, I landed my great white whale; I saw Glen Phillips perform live one more time. Glen, as most of my close friends and family know, is my very very favorite musician. His music was introduced to me by one of my dearest friends (who has turned me on to most of my favorites, now that I think about it) and I like to say that Glen provides the soundtrack to my life. I started listening to him during an extremely tumultuous time in my life, full of change and hurt and heartache and uncertainty. I often felt, and still do, that his music is speaking directly to me. Through good times and bad, for almost any mood or experience I'm having, there's a Glen song that fits. I have seen him live 7 or 8 times (I think, and that doesn't count the 4 times I've seen him play with Toad The Wet Sprocket!), most of those by myself, and they are honest-to-goodness religious experiences for me. I've met him a few times and he's as genuine as his music. I just hoped and prayed that he'd come to the PNW one last time before October 2012. So when he posted to Facebook that a Seattle show had been scheduled, at the Triple Door no less (where I saw him and Jonathan in 2008), I immediately bought a front row ticket for myself. Prayers answered!</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnuXuocPcOyxyTjaYSg6xt-mrxTKJkYplHApzQXnvnrXGRrizKASycuhMPTb9tnsfIdM4YeUDJkEvLTg5o-P0uBXnojqpgVExvUfruwM2-ayi0W0jtfmMPPyS9tDaxi1N7KyCUJedJeR0/s1600/Me+and+Glen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnuXuocPcOyxyTjaYSg6xt-mrxTKJkYplHApzQXnvnrXGRrizKASycuhMPTb9tnsfIdM4YeUDJkEvLTg5o-P0uBXnojqpgVExvUfruwM2-ayi0W0jtfmMPPyS9tDaxi1N7KyCUJedJeR0/s320/Me+and+Glen.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Me and Glen! 3 years (and 50lbs...whoa) ago @ Urban Grace Church, Tacoma WA.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The show? AMAZING. I posted to my Facebook that it was probably one of the top 10 evenings of my life, and that's no joke. The concert was perfect. I had an amazing seat right at the lip of the stage, ordered some wine and the duck entree that Kate loves so much, and prepared myself for the experience. Jonathan was opening which I knew about and was SUPER jazzed. Then he came out and said he had his friend Ryan with him and I about peed myself. The night just got better and better! They were spot on, as was to be expected. And then...Glen. Sigh. He was in perfect voice, did many of my favorite songs, was witty and weird as always, and it was so soothing to my soul. I had the biggest grin plastered to my face all night. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At first I was mad at myself for forgetting my camera but then I decided that no, I wanted these memories to be all mine. Just for me. This night meant so much more to me then just another concert; it was the rush of memories that come with so many of Glen's songs, the excitement when I can tell what song is next by the first chord or notes, the laughter at Jonathan's rapping about my embarrassing outburst to the attractive pianist during a song, the camaraderie of being with other true fans and knowing that they feel the same kind of excitement and happiness that I do...I didn't want to share that with someone who didn't "get it". I have those all to myself, forever and ever. Or until I lose my mind. Either way. It was a perfect evening for me, and I am so glad that was the last Glen concert I'll see for most likely a very long time. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifIe5RlhPVVmZaT0DosbsNYv0DmLASKgIpeoCnmdZbDZ0aJFKTqa2PAhJdbYs1cecOETGLZluXvJPHxIlb8_lDmge1jXvIOe3rRJz8UKukmbcDQ2YOTecnXMuM9Hh3VEoaHrpCk0RE6-A/s1600/Glen+Jon+and+Ryan+via+Sean+Bendickson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifIe5RlhPVVmZaT0DosbsNYv0DmLASKgIpeoCnmdZbDZ0aJFKTqa2PAhJdbYs1cecOETGLZluXvJPHxIlb8_lDmge1jXvIOe3rRJz8UKukmbcDQ2YOTecnXMuM9Hh3VEoaHrpCk0RE6-A/s320/Glen+Jon+and+Ryan+via+Sean+Bendickson.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Ryan, Jonathan, and Glen. ALL TOGETHER. Jeezy Creezy!<br />4/13/12 @ The Triple Door, Seattle WA. Photo courtesy Sean Bendickson.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />At the end of the concert he came back out for an encore and did one of my absolute favorites, which could not have topped off the night any better:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've got gardens growing, quiet days</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Clothes on my back and food on my plate</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Got friends to help me if I call for them </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't need anything that I don't have</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Got eyes to see this beautiful land</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And feet to take me where I want to stand</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If there's work to be done there's these two strong hands</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't need anything that I don't have</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some years the rains don't come</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And some years floods clear out the plains</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But if those waters wash this town away</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I would still have enough </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If she was with me</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've got a roof overhead, the stars if I choose</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I've got no itch to fly, got no need to move</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've got almost nothing </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I understand</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That I don't need anything that I don't have</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't need anything that I don't have.</span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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</span><div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;">- Glen Phillips, <i>Don't Need Anything</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;">Once again, a home run by Mr. Phillips and crew. I left the theater feeling happy and alive and satisfied and excited. I know that no matter what happens in the next 5.5 months, and no matter what I encounter in my new life on Tortola, I can turn to my trusty iTunes playlist and all will be well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 15px;">And maybe if I'm reeeeally lucky Ryan will come through on his idea to come play in the BVI. :) I think they'd really dig him there!</span></div>
</span>Steddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13700888648069018629noreply@blogger.com2